


The Boy Who Fell

by Gallanco732



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 5 year age difference instead of 10, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gryffindor, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Headmaster Luke, Luke and Leia are Voldemort's kids, Magic, Minister of Magic Leia, Muggles, Soulmates, True Love, harry potter/star wars au, he saves her from an orphanage, will get hot and heavy in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 22:35:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15399027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gallanco732/pseuds/Gallanco732
Summary: **On Temporary Hiatus**Ben Solo had always been angry, always hated his parents, but he was always kind to Rey. He was her savior, the one who found her at that crappy muggle orphanage while doing community service for one of his many outbursts. He made sure her Hogwarts letter got to her when it became clear Unkar Plutt was keeping it from her. He was always teaching her, defending her and it was clear she was his only friend too. She was the only one who wasn’t afraid of the troubled son of the Minister of Magic Leia Organa.But... the boy who saved her, who watched her grow, who was her greatest friend, was now a monster.





	1. Chapter 1

Rey runs through the snowy Forbidden Forest, hiding from him.

The boy who saved her, who watched her grow, who was her greatest friend, was now a monster.

Ben Solo had always been angry, always resented his parents, but he was always kind to her. He was her savior, the one who found her at that crappy muggle orphanage while doing community service for one of his many violent outbursts. He made sure her Hogwarts letter got to her when it became clear Unkar Plutt was keeping it from her. He was always teaching her, defending her and it was clear she was his only friend too. She was the only one who wasn’t afraid of the troubled son of the Minister of Magic Leia Organa.

Even when he graduated, they wrote constantly. He came for her on Hogsmeed weekends and she spent summers and holidays at his family’s estate in Naboo. When she stayed they were usually alone with just his family’s staff. His parents were both very busy and Ben was a little less lonely with her there to pull pranks in the village and cause general mayhem around the manor. And when she was feeling really alone at Hogwarts, he’d hoodwink his way into the floo network and appear in the fire of the Gryffindor common room.

They were the same after all. Lonely, violent and plucky.

He was always drawn to the dark arts, to creating his own spells and dueling. He was a prodigy dueling master, and a parselmouth. When that got out in his final year no one would go near him. Even some of the professors put distance between themselves and him. Rey didn’t understand what the big deal was. She was more interested in knowing what kinds of things snakes had to say than whether Ben could talk to them. That made him smile.

Years later, he finally learned why he could speak to snakes. It was all over the Daily Prophet. His mother – the Prime minister – and his Uncle – the Hogwarts Headmaster Luke Skywalker, where the secret children of He Who Must Not Be Named. Making Ben the grandson of one of the most evil men in history.

Now that everyone considered him a real monster, he decided he might as well become one. There was a confrontation with his parents and that’s when the accident happened. Han, his muggle father, was killed and Ben ran straight into the arms of the rising Dark Lord Snoke. He had taken the name Kylo Ren, and together with Snoke they plotted to merge the magical and non-magical worlds together, to rule over it all.

And now… now, Hogwarts was burning. It was her final year and the only place she’d ever called home was a flame.

It was Ben’s doing.

She saw him. She had been walking back from Professor Chewie’s cabin beside the forest. A mysterious note had urged her to be there, but no one had shown. It was on the walk back that she noticed the glow of fire on the twilight sky coming from the direction of the castle. Rey ran with all her might when she saw him standing in the entrance of the great hall, dressed in a long black cloak and wearing a grotesque metallic mask. Even if she couldn’t see his face she knew it was him. Those were his broad shoulders, his barely contained muscles, his fierce gait and his clenched fists.

She ran and ran, knowing he would follow.

She doesn’t know how long she ran, for days it felt like, past village after village until she stumbled into a human town.

There was a high school. She climbed a chain fence and ran down the empty echoing halls until she saw an auditorium. She shook the doors until she found an open one. Ducking inside, she found a dark corner where she could finally collapse and cry.

Memories rip through her now as she huddles under some broken seats in the back of the cold theater.

The first time she saw Ben he was standing in the middle of the orphanage with arms crossed and eyes downcast as the vicious blob that was Unkarr Plutt described the demeaning duties he would fulfill for his community service.

He was 16 and she was 11. He was way too tall, thin and gangly with huge ears and wild jet black hair. His scowl had the other kids staying well clear of him as he cleaned bathrooms and took out garbage, but it made Rey think he was funny. She followed him like a baby duck chatting incessantly  and playing pranks on him despite his attempts to shake her. 

It was a hot August day when she saw it, just out of the corner of her eye. He was frustrated with the mopping in the kitchen. He mumbled something under his breath, then as he leaned over to pick something up off the floor, the mop kept going on its own! Rey burst in through the doors and he grasped the mop again, looking at her with wide eyes.

“Piss off kid,” he snarled.

She just walked closer making him flinch a little. She was fearless. She put her hands on the mop too.

“Let go,” she said.

He did. His confused look turned to one of shock.

Rey held her hands just off the mop and suddenly it was dancing all on its own.

“I clean this way too. I’m glad I’m not alone. Plutt locks me up for a week when I do.” 

Ben paused before opening his mouth.

“How old are you?”

“Eleven,” she beamed smiling a toothless smile.

Ben stared at her for a solid 10 seconds.

Then grabbed her by the shirt collar and marched her straight down to Plutt’s office.

“Hey, what are you…”

Bam! He kicked open the door dragging Rey inside. Plutt looked like he would explode, he started yelling, “What in the holy living fuck are you doing boy…”

His words caught in his throat when he looked at what Ben was pointing at him.

Rey looked up and saw him holding a long ragged stick with a black handle and cherry red shaft. It was the most bizarre thing she had ever seen. Why was the violent, ugly, blubbery Plutt suddenly cowering at the end of a stick held by this weird boy? She felt embarrassed for the both of them frankly because it looked so ridiculous.

“Where’s her letter?”

Her what? Did Plutt steal something from her? Rey didn’t care how weird this was, she was starting to get pissed. Plutt was always taking her things.

“You’re going to get into a heap of trouble boy.”

“Not as much trouble as you’ll be in,” Ben said cooly in his deepening voice. He brought his fingers up to his lips and let out a high pitch whistle. A moment later a _fucking owl_ flew in through the window!

“Holy shit!” Rey cried as a black and white great horned owl with reddish eyes settled on Ben’s arm.

“Language,” Plutt grumbled.

But Ben smiled the first smile she had seen from him and it made a world of difference. He looked like a devilish young prince. Rey flashed her brightest smile back at him, liking the look.

“She can curse all she wants, especially at you.”

Ben moved to a nearby desk and started scribbling a note which he rolled up and attached to the owl’s leg.

“You do know who my mother is,” he said threateningly.

“Hey, hey now. We can come up with some kind of deal can’t we kid?”

“Give. Her. Her. Letter”

“Yeah, give me my letter,” Rey parroted having no idea what they were talking about.

Ben guffawed, giving her a wink over the arm holding the owl.

Mumbling curses under his breath Plutt reached into a rusty file cabinet and pulled out a heavy parchment letter. It was addressed to her.

_Ms. Rey of Jakku._

_The Niima Outpost Orphanage._

_Middle bunk of the smallest room._

Someone had written to her? Could it be her parents? Had they found her after all this time? Her little heart raced and her hands started shaking.

While she stared at it Ben sent his owl flying into the air, earning a roar of fury from Plutt.

“We had a deal!”

“I don’t make deals with monsters. You’ll never take care of kids again!” Ben yelled back, now holding his stick with two hands. Plutt lifted his hands reluctantly continuing a stream of curses and insults.

Ben looked down at the normally bubbly little Rey who he had come to tolerate in his time here (ok, so maybe he looked forward to her antics) and she seemed smaller than normal. Her little hands were shaking as she ran her fingers over the handwriting.

 “Open it,” he said gently and her eyes snapped up to meet his deep, kind brown ones. “Go on. That letter is yours.”

She tore into it.

Hogwarts? A school of… Witchcraft and Wizardry?

“Is this a joke? What does this mean?”

Ben got down on one knee, keeping one hand pointed at Plutt and holding her shoulder with the other. His hands were big and warm, and his eyes were fierce but patient.

“That thing you did with the mop. You know normal kids can’t do that, right? Aren’t there other strange things that have always happened around you?”

Rey nods her head.

“Haven’t you always felt like you don’t belong here?”

Rey nods more enthusiastically.

“My parents…” she whispers.

“They could have been magic. Maybe not. But there’s no doubt that you belong with us, in our world.”

Her little mind is running a million miles a minute.

“What am I?”

“You’re a witch. A strong one by the looks of it. You can do magic.”

“And you?”

He smirked.

“I’m a wizard, I can do magic too.”

“If my parents come back, will someone tell them where I went?”

Ben gave her a compassionate look.

“Sure kid.”

“And do you live at Hog… Hog…”

“Hogwarts. Yeah kid, I go to school there too. We all live there.”

“Then, let’s go!” She practically shouts.

He laughs again and ruffles her hair.

“My mom’s on her way.”

The rest of the day was a blur. She met the lovely, warm Leia, who she would later learn was a very important lady. She also got to watch as Plutt was hauled away for questioning. She learned he was something called a squib, put in charge of a muggle orphanage, and had been keeping letters from magical kids for years so he could keep charging for them.

She was taken to Diagon Alley and Ben’s wonderful family helped her buy all her supplies.

It was great press for them too. It made the papers that the troubled son of the Prime Minister saved a little witch and helped nab a criminal squib. Though more sulky in public, she remembers taking Ben’s hand as they walked through the colorful, vibrant old streets. Everything was thrilling, amazing and new, and he beamed down at her.

It was the most insanely happy, wonderful day of her life.

But now…

Now, her hero and her savior had become the ultimate enemy. He made a deal with a monster and she may have lost him forever.

He was coming. She could hear his boots echoing outside in the empty halls, but that’s not what tipped her off. She could FEEL him. She always could.

They discovered their strange connection at Hogwarts. Rey always knew when he was especially upset, knew when he needed her most. And he was always there for her too.

She didn’t think anything of it until she found out it wasn’t normal, even in the wizarding world. It was fourth year and her friends Rose and Finn had caught her the night before talking with Ben in the fire. They sat chatting in divination class. They didn’t understand her friendship with the surly, dangerous older boy. He had been in constant trouble with the Ministry since leaving Hogwarts.

“Don’t you feel that, when your friend is in trouble? Like you can tell and you know you have to go to them? I needed him and he came.”

They gave her dubious looks.

“That’s not a thing Rey,” said Finn.

“But…”

“Think about it,” broke in Rose, “have you ever sensed that with anyone else? Do you know when Finn and I need help?”

She hadn’t thought of it that way. She’d never felt that with anyone else. Her little mind was racing when the spindly, ancient Divination teacher, Professor Trelaweny popped up beside them.

“What a blessing my dear, if you don’t mind my saying. It sounds as though you have found your soulmate,” she tittered. “That is exceptionally rare. I would adore a chance to read your tea leaves… let me go make a pot!”

Soulmate? _Soulmate?_

But he was just her friend. Her best friend. Her family.

…

_Rattle, rattle. SLAM!_

The auditorium doors fly open as he enters the dark venue, snow blowing in around him. Ben’s long silhouette plays dimly on the stage. Rey grasps her knees, her whole body shivering. She knew he would find her. He always does.

The sound of his heavy boots echo through the empty space.

“REY!” He screams and she jumps! Rey’s hands flies to her mouth, trying to keep herself from making a sound as tears stream down her face.

She hears a deep sigh and then some rustling and low cursing. Suddenly a giant projection screen begins to descend from the ceiling over the stage.

“You’re scared. You hate me. But you have to know the truth!” He shouts out into the darkness.  

There was more rustling and a video sprang to life on the screen.

“I used the muggle camera you gave me. That pro-go or whatever...” he called.

Her chest clenches. She would have laughed, made fun of him and thought his mispronunciation adorable if the situation weren’t so entirely fucked up. He sounded like her Ben, but what she had just witnessed was monstrous.

“I knew no one would believe me.”

Images begin to flash on the screen in reverse. Ben is stomping backwards through towns and woods. He’s obviously rewinding from the present. He apparently bewitched the camera to float just above his head pointing down from a single angle. It was a little jarring, but what she saw was his scarred face under wild, messy jet black hair. Below that, the dark floor length cloak synched with that wide black belt, his helmet under his arm. His battle dress was tight and terrifying, but his face was not.  Without the helmet he looked young, vulnerable and desperate. It made her heart clench again and the pit of her stomach fall. A huge powerful man with wild doe eyes.

It follows him back through the woods, sliding up cliffs and through high brush. At one point he fights off a group of centaurs that confronts him in the Forbidden Forest. Then he’s back at the castle, his helmet goes back on. Kylo Ren tears through the halls of Hogwarts, fighting off teachers and suits of armor, his dark knights fighting through alongside him. Then he’s running up staircase after staircase, back through a painting and a secret passageway and more stone spiral steps. There’s a blur of red and smoke, magical explosions and fighting until he comes back to a halt. The helmet comes off. Ben is standing face to face with Headmaster Luke Skywalker.

He hits play.

“Why have you come Ben?”

“That’s not my name anymore.”

“Why have you come?”

“You know why. I want Rey’s records. I know you’ve been keeping them from her. And Lord Snoke. He demands your allegiance. The humans and us, it’s time we live in a Unified world. We enslave ourselves, and as a result both worlds are less safe. It’s time to liberate everyone.”

“Snoke has warped your mind. He won’t liberate anyone but make muggles our slaves.“The Supreme lord is wise.”

“Is that what you told your father?”

“That was an accident! You know it! The power, I couldn’t control it,” Ben roars.

“Rey’s parents,” Luke says softly, bringing Ben back down. “They were nobody. Deadbeat alcoholic muggles who died in a car accident. They sold her to Plutt so she could work in his junkyard behind the orphanage. ”

Ben looks stunned. Rey stares, mouth open as numb shock courses through her body in her little hiding place.

“Now you know,” and then in a deadly whisper Luke adds, “not that it will matter.”

“ _AVADA KE--!”_ Luke roars pointing his wand suddenly at Ben. Luke stops, and a wide-eyed terrified Ben uses the hesitation to Perry with his own attack. There’s a whirl of lights and smoke and hexes as Ben throws on his helmet and begins a vicious assault. The ceiling of the Headmaster’s office collapses and Ben emerges from the dust, running down the stairs and ordering his knights to seize the school!

Rey gasps in her corner! She’s giving her location away but she doesn’t care.

Luke, how could he? How could he try to murder his nephew? She knew he would never pledge allegiance to Snoke, but he should have tried to save him, his own flesh and blood! And to use her to distract him! Her stomach churns and she wills herself not to vomit, then…

She hears his heavy foot falls approaching. The swishing black fabric of his battle cloak appears, then he’s crouching down before her.

She talks first.

“Luke was wrong,” she says shakily. “He was wrong to do that to you.”

Ben just stares. His hair disheveled, his fresh scar stark. It happened during the accident that killed Han.

“It’s not too late,” she tries desperately. “You don’t have to go with Snoke. You can stop this madness right now. Stay with me. Come home.”

Rey reaches out a shaking hand, tears still streaming. He removes a black glove, taking her fingers into his own and gently stroking her knuckles.

“I can’t,” he whispers. “Join me Rey,” he says more firmly, his eyes burning into hers. “Let me teach you. Let me give you the world.”

“I don’t want the world,” she sobs, “Just you.”

He feels like he’s been kicked in the chest.

“I love you,” she whispers, willing her every emotion to reach him. “I always have. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to be by your side forever.”

He can hardly take it. Suddenly his resolve is cracking. This is his beautiful only friend, his only love. He never got the chance to tell her how he felt, waiting for her to grow up. He was planning to marry her one day after she graduated Hogwarts, but then… the accident happened and his entire existence became a shattered dream. How could he be good enough for her ever again? A monster like him…

“You are…” he sounds deeply broken, “You are the only good thing in my life.”

Rey lets go a fresh sob and Ben’s hands cup her face. His thumbs brush away her tears. He rests his forehead on hers, allowing him this one moment to reach out to the only light in his bleak painful world.

“Don’t leave me. We’ll fix this,” she pleads.

Maybe…just maybe, she was right.

“Rey, I…”

“STOP!” Shouts another voice.

BAM! The seats and walls around them are blasted away!

Rey and Ben jump to their feet and are faced with an incensed Luke Skywalker and an army of aurors behind him.

Ben growls and apparates away. Rey is left standing painfully alone.

“Is it true? Did you try to murder him?”

“Leave this place, now!” Luke growls, turning his back on her, intent on pursuing his nephew.

“Stop. Stop!”

Rey snatches up her wand and strikes Luke with a spell that knocks him off his feet. The other aurors lift their wands up at her but Luke waves them off. He reaches for his own wand and the two duel furiously. Rey channels all her hurt, all her anger into her strikes until Luke slips and falls in the rubble beneath him. She holds her wand menacingly above him.

"Tell me the truth."

Luke looks like a beaten old man. His anger and fortitude gives way to exhaustion and...grief?

"I saw what he could do. His heart is already black. I looked inside and I saw a vision of the pain and suffering and destruction he would bring at the end of everything I loved, and I thought I could stop it."

"You failed him by thinking his choice was made. It wasn't. Just now, when we touched hands, I felt his conflict. You should have tried to save him!"

"There's nothing left to save."

Rey's expression becomes stony. She steals her resolve.

"You're wrong."

And with that she turns and marches off into the night, swearing to dedicate the rest of her life to bringing Ben home.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Rey is walking along the lovely lake front on the Naboo estate, green mountains rolling off into the distance. She's 16 now, almost 17 and getting ready to start her final year at Hogwarts. She’s kicking the dirt and enjoying the quiet view when she feels him behind her.

“Took you long enough to visit dummy,” she says with a smirk.

She spins around and Ben is there sweeping her into his big strong arms and spinning her around. She laughs and he finally brings her back down with a hug.

A hug that lasts longer than usual.

“Hey,” she says.

He just hugs her tighter, burying his face in her neck. The strength of his embrace takes the wind out of her a bit.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he says letting go gently. He walks to the lake without looking at her. Ben picks up stones and starts flinging them across the water. He always throws too hard to skip. They just make a big splash.

“Not nothing,” she says with a laugh in her voice. Honestly, he didn’t even try to hide when he was upset anymore.

Ben turns back at her with a small smile and affection in his eyes.

“What are you building now grease monkey?”

He’s not wrong. Rey is covered from head to toe in grease and oil marks. She’s wearing her favorite, very worn overalls and a beige tank top.

She punches him and tells him all about the speeder she’d worked on with his dad earlier in the summer, and how she’s been finishing it herself, hoping to race the village kids on their motorcycles. His parents separated the previous year and Ben was a man now living on his own in Diagon Alley. She was still allowed to stay at the manor with the staff but it did get awfully lonely. Still it beat staying at the castle all alone. Now that was just sad.  The occasional visits from Ben were honestly the greatest thing in the world.

He settles on a bank and she sits beside him, holding her knees. She sways, bumping his shoulder.

“What happened?”

“I… I found a new home. Well, a new group of people, that feels like home. I’ve got a job, I’m learning and dueling and…” he gives a heavy sigh.

“Well, that’s good isn’t it?”

“They aren’t a very popular bunch. My parents wouldn’t approve. It’s pretty political.”

Rey bark laughs.

“The great politics hating Ben Solo is doing something political? Has hell frozen over?”

“Laugh it up,” he mumbles deeply.

She punches him lightly on the shoulder.

“Since when have your parents ever approved of anything you do?”

He just looks pensive.

“You have to become your own person. You hated it at the ministry. They didn’t get you and there was no way for you to channel your… passion, right?”

He nods.

“You’re a hero. You’ll do the right thing. Don’t listen to those assholes Ben, No one knows you like I do. I believe in you jerk face, so stop moping ok?”

“Brat,” he says but she can’t see his eyes. He slumps over into her, resting his head on her shoulder, nearly knocking her over with his weight.

“Hey watch it dummy. Holy shit, you’re as heavy as an elephant.”

He uses one arm to hold them up and another to wrap around her. He rubs his black mane into her cheek and demands she play with it. “Hair,” he booms in his deep, commanding voice.

“What are you a dog?” He growls and she laughs, getting to work running her fingers through his locks. She strokes his scalp and scratches behind his ears the way she knows he likes. Something warm and electric flutters in her chest and she schools her expression into one of amused exasperation. She loves him so much, but for all she knows he only loves her as a kid sister. And that was ok with her, she just wanted to be by his side, always.

“So, you only keep me around for the head rubs. I see how it is.”

Suddenly, he envelopes her tightly with both arms, burying his face into the side of her neck. The embrace is crushing, it feels desperate.

“Ben?” she squeaks.

“Never give up on me,” he rumbles, and she can feel the reverberation of his words in her chest. “I’ll do right by you, even though I’m a fuck up Rey, who doesn’t deserve you. I’ll always protect you. I promise.”

“Hey,” she tries to say reassuringly as she feels him shutter against her. “I won’t give up on you Ben. Never ever. I promise.”

He relaxes a moment at her words. Then he stands and his weight and warmth are ripped away. Rey is left staring and catching her breath.

Ben turns his back and starts walking away into the woods.

“Ben!” She calls, chasing him. But, suddenly it’s like no matter how hard or how fast she runs she can’t catch up. The distance between them yawns wider as he walks into the dark tree line, hands in his jeans, the black fabric of his t-shirt stretching across his wide, muscular back.

“Ben!” She screams more desperately, but he won’t turn around.

He disappears in the trees. Then she catches a glimpse of him moving through the woods. Suddenly he’s in his black battle dress, peering through the leaves with tears on his cheeks and a scar on his face. Then he appears with that terrifying helmet. He marches menacingly back towards her.

“BEN STOP IT! BEN THAT’S NOT YOU!”

He’s almost on her, he raises that black and red wand and then!

Rey shoots up in her bed, sweating and breathing hard. Her beautiful memory had morphed into a nightmare. A version of that nightmare had been tormenting her for the last five years…ever since that day.

She closes her eyes and tries to catch her breath. She reminds herself where she is.

I’m at my flat in London. I’m an auror with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. I’m going to destroy Snoke and bring Ben Solo home.

She let’s out a breath and opens her eyes.

Rey is a top rookie auror. Leia helped her get assigned to the task force currently hunting the Dark Lord Snoke and his associates. Leia knew of her passion for destroying Snoke. It was something the two women have in common. Destroy the man who corrupted Ben. What Leia doesn’t know, is how desperately Rey believes that she can bring Ben back. Leia had given up hope of ever getting her son back and Rey resents her for it.

Everyone in his life seemed to give up on him. It happened long before he joined the dark First Order and became the right hand of the darkest wizard of their age. Rey thinks, if they’re looking for whomever drove Ben into Snoke’s arms, his family need only look themselves in the mirror. Still, she owed them and insurmountable debt for saving her and providing her a home away from Hogwarts.

But she was never going to give up on him. She promised.

In a short time at the department she had helped apprehend no fewer than three of Snoke’s associates.

But it was easy… almost too easy. They’d fight like banshees, but as soon as she appeared, the fight would go out of them.

It left her with a suspicious feeling in her gut.

The answer came during the interrogation of Pervious Gatewreigth, a known Snoke associate who’s favorite tool of terror was the crutiatus curse.

“You’ll be spending a long time at Azkaban,” said the interrogator.

“Says you. Even if I do, I’m lucky to have my life at least…”

“What do you mean,” they pried.

“You can’t tell me you don’t know,” he said with a high, cruel laugh. “That green little auror bitch. If I had touched one hair on that little girl’s head Kylo Ren would have skewered me. Would have tortured me into insanity until I begged for death. No one’s to hurt her, that was his order. How does it feel then? Having Ren’s little pet in your midst?”

Rey’s heart pounded in her throat as all eyes turned on her.

Now she was on desk duty. She’d lost the trust of her colleagues and superiors.

Pushing papers wouldn’t satisfy her for long.

How dare he, How _fucking_ dare he!

She tracks down the werewolf enforcer of the First Order on her own hoping to prove her dedication and clear her name. But either this one missed the memo about not killing her or he was tired of his associates being arrested, He was aiming to kill.   

Their battle rages through the sleepy cobblestoned streets of Godric’s Hollow. Every blow knocks her back, leaves her scrambling for purchase. Rey ducks into a warehouse dodging a near fatal blow. He’s using magic and his impossible strength, teeth and claws. She dives behind old machinery as curses shatter over her head.

She’s slashed by a giant claw, which sends her flying into a brick wall. Her want goes flying from her hand. Rey closes her eyes, accepting her impending death as the man-creature stalked slowly towards his defeated prey. She pictured Ben hugging her on the lake shore and then…

There’s a strangled yelp and the sound of struggling.

Her eyes fly open in time to observe a furious black blur circling the werewolf. He clutches at his throat as he’s lifted into the air.

The dark blur manifests into a man. A massive man dressed head to foot in black, a menacing metal helmet on his head.

It’s him.

He kills the offender before her, crushing his head the body falls to the warehouse floor with a sickening thump.

Kylo Ren stands with chest heaving, standing and looking down at her clutching the tattered sleeve of her bloodied shirt. Rey stands. She’s so angry she doesn’t even wait.

She marches forward and shoves him! Adrenaline helps her push through the pain.

He stumbles, surprised but she stays on him.

Rey hits him with her fists and shouts, “How could you!” over and over again!

“How could you leave me! How could you pretend to care now! I don’t need your help! I don’t need any of it!”

Her voice becomes quieter, “How could you leave me?

Kylo Ren tries to circle his arms around her but she shoves him off again.

He just stands there saying nothing.

“Take off that fucking mask!”

He does. And she’s left breathless.

There were the same vulnerable doe eyes. Only now they had deep, permanent bags below them. His hair, still wild as ever, now had some gray hairs running through it.  A five o’clock shadow peppered his chin and lip. Those luscious lips were still the same.

His rage erupts from his beautiful mouth.

“What do you think you’re doing? Trying to get yourself killed? I won’t let it happen. Stop this nonsense Rey, live your life. Forget about me.”

“And how exactly am I supposed to do that when you’re trying to take over the world.”

He rolls his eyes. It was a fair point.

“I promised to protect you and you’re making that damn near impossible you know that?” He growls, gesturing wildly.

“I made a promise too,” she proclaims.

He blinks.

“Or don’t you remember?” She scoffs in his face.

“You begged me to never give up on you.”

It strikes a nerve. He turns away, not meeting her eyes.

“Give up. Go home,” comes his deep, even voice.

“No.”

He spins back around to face her, “You don’t understand the power of the dark arts.”

“Maybe not. But I understand the power of this.” She marches into his personal space. Inches away, they eye each other with chests heaving, sweat dripping and faces red. Something electric passes between them.

“You’re stuck with me asshole.” 

“I won’t always be able to protect you,” he rumbles urgently, dark brown eyes boring into hers.

“Come home and then maybe you can.”

He sighs in frustration and moves away again,

“It’s not that simple!” he yells. “I’ve done too much. I can never come home Rey. I’m never coming back. I believe in this. I can make the world better, stronger.”

"Bullshit."

He just glares at her.

“They know, you know,” she says, emotion in her voice. He gives her a questioning look.

“At the ministry. They know you’ve ordered your men not to touch me. They know I’m your pet. My career is over.”

“Good,” he spits. “You’ll be safer then.”

“Why?” she cries.

“Why what?”

“Why do you maim, kill and destroy, but you protect me? Why only me? Why destroy the lives of good people and make an exception for me?”

The man who calls himself Kylo Ren simply turns and starts to walk away.

“ANSWER ME!” she roars. “STOP!”

She runs and tackles him against a wall. He pushes back, spinning her around and pinning her instead.

She channels all her hurt into her fiery gaze, as he grabs her throat,

“It would be easier if you killed me. I’ll never give up on the man I loved. Ben is alive…” and her hand is on his face. He looks shocked and lost. How had he lost the upper hand so quickly?

“Tell me why you still protect me. I’m nothing, a nobody, a mudblood, you should hate me.”

“I’ll never hate you,” he says and he looks like he instantly regrets it. His adams apple bobs as he scolds himself for saying anything at all.

“Why?”

She pushes at his shoulders, emotionally exhausted. Then she’s screaming again.

“Hate me! Hurt me! I don’t need your pity! If you killed Ben Solo then kill me too,” she’s sobbing now,

“Kill me because I’ll never break my vow, I’ll never stop trying to bring you home. I won’t stop until I kill Snoke with my bare hands!” Rey’s throat is raw with emotion and she can barely breathe.

“Kill me,” she pleads. “Just don’t leave me again. Please. Please don’t leave me again.”

She hears a strangled noise and looks up to see him gritting his teeth, tears streaming silently down his face. Her hands reach up and cup his cheeks the way he had once done with her. There he is. There’s her Ben. He isn’t dead after all.

There is no tomorrow, she tells herself. Only this moment. It could be the last time she ever sees her love.

So, before her rational mind can stop her, Rey rises up on her toes and plants a gentle kiss on his plush lips.

To say he was shocked is an understatement.

Kylo Ren’s world is rocked by the light pressure on his lips.

He jolts back and looks at her with wide eyes, a thousand emotions crossing his face. Life and fire are returning to his eyes. He never wanted to leave her, his Rey, his only treasure. He never got to tell her how he felt. Never got to have the life he planned for them.  Her pleas have cut him to his core and again he finds himself questioning it all. Reaching for hope. Could there be a way?

He takes too long, and she kisses him again. Something old and powerful comes rushing back into his chest. Passion and desire and longing and broken dreams.

Maybe, just for this moment….

She slots her lips against his and moves her mouth and he finally responds. He deepens the kiss like a man dying of thirst, and Rey is the water. He reaches down and easily lifts her up without breaking the kiss, setting her down on a work bench.

She sighs against him and he moans into her. Her hands fly into his hair and he grabs her hips, positioning himself between her legs he pulls her forcefully towards him.  

“Rey,” he groans in a deep whisper that sends fire right to her core. The whole broken world disappears around them.

“Take it off,” she gasps between ravenous assaults of his mouth.

“What?” he answers absent-mindedly, not breaking their kiss.

“That stupid black dress. Take it off.”

That gets his attention.

“Rey?”

He looks at her and she sees fear. She leans her forehead on his.

“Give me this. Give me this moment. Please Ben.”

He gulps, then finds her lips again. The layers of his dark robes begin to fall away and she becomes impossibly hot at the sight of his yawning chest, now marred by scars. She traces them and kisses them, before sitting back and starting to undo her own tattered black blouse. The honesty and vulnerability of their looks at one another are almost too much to bare. She feels fire wherever his eyes travel.

He dives back at her.

“You’re perfect,” he whispers as he peppers kisses down her neck and onto her chest. Rey gasps and moans as Ben palms her with his big warm hands and captures a pink nipple in his mouth.

She can’t stand the torment. She knows they may not have long.

Her hands attack the fastenings of his pants and diving in, she wraps her fingers around his long smooth member.

He lets out a long guttural groan. His head falls to her shoulder as he pumps himself into her hand. Then his fingers are digging at the waistband of her pants. With one smooth tug he pulls her pants and underwear down, flinging them away.

Then they’re rubbing against one another. They moan and gasp into each other and the length of him slides against the slick core of her. It’s fire and mayhem, he’s everywhere around her, mind, body and soul. Then with a gentle thrust, they’re one. She clings to him, her hands clawing into his broad back, her face pressed against his collar bone. And he holds onto her for dear life, pulling her close, intoxicated by her warmth, her tightness, the softness of her flesh on his, her small sounds and her scent. His girl, his love, his life, his soulmate, his!

A gentle rocking turns into a frantic pace. He buries himself into her, willing himself to disappear and just become this feeling.

“I love you,” he pants into her mouth, confessing his long held secret.

“I know,” comes her breathless reply.

They reach their earth-shattering climax together. They cling to one another panting and sweating. Tears mix with blood. Her elation and her grief come pouring out of her and she can feel Ben’s tears on her neck. Why can’t this be forever?

They’d have to leave each other again. She can’t go with him and he can’t stay.

No! She doesn’t want this to end.

“Don’t go,” she whispers through her tears.

“I’ll come back for you sweetheart. I promise.”

And with that it all goes black.

Ben knew she’d never let him go after this. But he had no choice, if he wanted her to be safe. With a silent spell he took her consciousness away. He hugs her limp form, sobbing into her hair. He vows a new vow that may change his life forever.

Ben cleans her and dresses her, laying her gently on the warehouse floor.

Later, a dark blur deposits Rey on the doorstep of St. Mungos Hospital for Magical Maladies.

She doesn’t speak for a long time after that.

 


	3. Daddy

Rey sits on the back porch of her country cottage, overlooking a small meadow that rolls gently down towards a small tree lined creak where childish squeals of glee float through the air.

White brick walls are lined with Ivy and neatly kept wild flowers. The windows are big and bright in the one-bedroom home. The inside is small but warm. Flowers adorn nearly every surface. There’s a small kitchen with cozy lounging chairs behind a tiny table. There’s a piano flat against one wall and a fireplace.

It’s not much but it’s hers.

She walked away from the Ministry after that day, six years ago.

The raw betrayal and abandonment that nearly led her to take her own life, have now waned to a dull ache.

Still, on this day, she remembers  _him_.

It was the end of her first year at Hogwarts and all her friends were aflutter with joy for their return trips home. But not Rey. She was terrified.

Would they send her back to that place? If not Jakku, some other orphanage? Or would she have to stay in the castle all summer long with no company but the house ghosts? Lonely as it was, the latter was her preferred option by far. But who would she have talk to about that? She was scared to go up to the headmaster alone. Maybe, if Ben went with her, she’d be braver. There was no way she was going back to that horrible place. She could be useful, she’ll tell him, she’d clean the Hogwarts bathrooms if she had to. Anything to stay.

Rey found Ben in the Great Hall at the Slytherin table.

The big mean Slytherin boys didn’t scare her, not from day one. She was small and agile and strong and wasn’t above a kick to the nuts. Not that it would have to come to that. Ben made it clear from the get-go that he’d clobber anyone who messed with his tiny friend.

“Ben!” She squeaked, bounding up in her robes and crimson scarf, her little tri-buns bouncing on her head.

Tall, lanky Ben with his wavy hair, big ears and mischievous smirk ruffled her hair. She batted his hand away with a huff as she smoothed her hair back towards her bun.

“What do you want kid?” He asks amused but trying to keep up his tough guy persona.

“I need your help…” she rattled on about the orphanage and how she intended to ask the Headmaster to let her stay at Hogwarts and sweep the Great Hall and how she needed him to stand next to her, so she wouldn’t get too nervous.

Ben looked at her like she had three heads.

“What?” She asked blinking.

He sighed in frustration, stood and grabbed her by the back of the collar, dragging her out of the Great Hall.

“Hey!”

“You’re totally ridiculous you know that,” he muttered.

“What are you talking about? Hey! Where are we going?” she yelled, finally wrestling out of his grasp.

“Shut up and keep up, squirt,” he said taking big strides up stair case after stair case.

She huffed an adorable little huff and crossed her arms, following as best she could. They walked out to a tall spire of a tower, up some more steps, before entering the circular stone room of the owlery. Rey had never been here before and she looked around in awe at all the birds coming and going.

Ben whistled the same as he did in that orphanage almost a year ago, and his black and red owl came fluttering down on his arm.

Rey stepped up and stroked its long sleek feathers.

“His name is BB-9,” Ben says.

Rey looks questioningly at him. “What happened to BB one though eight?”

“My mom has a lot of owls. We got tired of naming them.”

She giggles and shakes her head. This boy was something else.

“So, why are we here? How is this going to help me convince Headmaster Skywalker that I should stay here instead of the orphanage.”

Ben shakes his head again and heads over to a tall, circular table. He pulls some parchment out of his robes and picks up a quill that’s on the table. He scribbles a quick note and sends BB-9 into the air.

“You are dense, you know that? I thought you were supposed to be smart.”

She punches him, and he feigns injury.

“Shut up dumbo butt! I’m smarter than a stupid teenager like you!” She tackles him, and they wrestle in the hay of the owlery, ruffling more than a few feathers. The birds hoot and flap disapprovingly. Rey continues her assault as Ben laughs at her feisty but weak punches. It’s the laugh she remembers most. So rare from him, so precious and deep and sweet. A nerdy guffaw that quickly became her favorite sound in the world.

“You’re coming with me, genius,” he says.

Rey stopped mid-punch and stared at him.

“Huh?”

“You think I’m going to let you stay in this place like some little slave girl? Be Skywalker’s little pet project? Fuck that. You’re coming with us. I just wrote my mother. I told her if you don’t stay with us, then I’ll be staying here at Hogwarts. With you.”

Every possible emotion seems to rip through her little body. No one had ever, _ever,_ done anything like that for her. No one had wanted her, no one had fought for her, no one… until him.

Tears appear in her eyes and Ben starts to panic.

“Hey. Hey, kid what…? Don’t cry… was it something I…”

And she lunges herself at him, wrapping herself as tightly around his neck as she can. He pats her back awkwardly as she cries into his shoulder.

“Thank you, Ben,” she managed to squeak out.

“Anytime kid.”

Ben knew what it felt like to be utterly alone and unwanted sometimes. And for once, it felt nice to be the hero instead of the constant disappointment. Rey was the only person who looked at him without fear, or criticism, or ulterior motive to use him. And, screw it all, he was going to keep her.

Naboo became Rey’s first home away from Hogwarts.

And, now…

This was her first home that was all her own and no one else’s.

Well, no one except… “Mommy!”

A giggling little boy comes dashing up the hill and she smiles.

Rey had been damn near suicidal when Ben left. Then she discovered that a piece of Ben had been left behind. Their one passionate encounter had left her pregnant. It was all too much to process at first. She didn’t speak for months. Leia was a constant presence, talking at Rey and telling her it would all be okay.

When Rey confirmed to Leia that Ben was the father of her child with the nod of her head, Leia truly and completely broke down for seemingly the first time in her entire life. The two women clung to each other and sobbed, letting out all the pent up hurt and pain at the unfairness of the world.

Rey started talking again and Leia helped her find this cottage away from prying eyes, knowing how much danger they’d be in if anyone found out she was carrying the child of First Order enforcer Kylo Ren. But when Grey came screaming into the world, Rey thinks it was just too much for Leia to bare.

The resemblance was strong. He had Ben’s wavy raven hair and protruding ears.   

It was too painful for Leia to visit, and Rey understood. She forgave her. But a small part will always resent, always blame her for pushing Ben away and now, pushing his child away too.

But, Rey thinks she can handle anything when looking into the brilliantly smiling, boogery face of her beloved son. Grey saved her life.

Now he was covered in mud and grass stains, missing his top front tooth and grinning from ear to ear as he presents her with a little green frog in a glass jar.

“Mommy, look! It’s a green tree frog! I caught him all by myself!”

“Wow, that’s wonderful buddy. Good job, I’m proud of you.”

Rey swore long ago that he’d never want for love the way his parents did, never ever.

Their life is as close to perfect as she will ever hope for it to be.

Until….

There’s the telltale popping sound of someone apparating into her home. Rey stands startled. She scoops Grey up protectively and walks into the kitchen.

“Who’s there?”

“Ah, Ms. Rey we didn’t mean to startle you with the unexpected visit,” she finds a pudgy little ministry official with a bowler hat, dressed in muggle clothes, standing at the kitchen sink. She’s sighs. He’s an old colleague from the Auror office.

“To what do I owe the pleasure Dean?”

“Some rather serious business I’m afraid.”

“Oh?”

“Ah, this must be the young chap right here.”

He reaches out a hand to pat the Grey’s head but Rey reels back reflexively.

“What business could possibly involve my son?”

“I believe you know the answer to that question.”

Two more men and a woman apparate into the home, crowding the already small space. Rey spins, clutching Grey more tightly.

“Now, we don’t mean to alarm you, but we are going to have to take you into protective custody.”

“Why?”

The four of them start to close in.

“Mommy?” comes Grey scared little voice.

“That will all be explained in due time, if you’ll just come along…”

 _No!_ It’s her greatest fear. They’ll take her son! Use him as a pawn in their war!

She lunges for a rusty tea pot on top of the small piano, and the world twists away.

\----

Rey set up the emergency port key for exactly this reason.

Mother and son appear in Naboo, in her old room at the Organa-Solo estate. She trembles as Grey cries in her arms “Mama, what those bad men want? Where are we?”

“Shhh, shhh, shhh,” she says rocking him. “It’s ok love. Everything is going to be ok. Mama will never let the bad men get you. You won’t see them again I promise.”

He sniffles and clings to her as Rey’s heart races. Thankfully, the estate is abandoned but for a skeleton staff keeping the grounds. She urges Grey to sleep in her childhood four-poster bed. He’ll need to be rested up for whatever is to come.

Once he drifts to sleep, it’s time for plan A.

Reach Leia.

A quick communication via floo reveals she’s in just as much trouble. The now former Minister of Magic is locked in her office in London fending off a similar invasion of ministry agents.

“I don’t have long. Rey I’m so sorry, I wish there was something I could do. They didn’t find out from me. I can’t help you. You have to find a way out of the country, take Grey as far as you … “

There’s a shout and sounds of a struggle as she vanishes.

Rey’s whole body lurches. She holds her stomach kneeling on the ground. If they’ve gotten to Leia, then they’ve certainly gotten to Finn in the Transportation Bureau. She can’t get near enough to Hogwarts to run to Professor Chewie for help and Headmaster Skywalker would most certainly hand her over to the Ministry.

This leaves the last resort. And she doesn’t know if she can handle the last resort.

She crawls over and grabs the tea pot, opens the top and looks inside.

There, at the bottom, is a seemingly unremarkable ring. But it’s anything but unremarkable.

He had given it to her that first summer in Naboo.

\---

They were sitting in their favorite spot, under a big willow tree near the shore of the lake, just out of sight of the manor. He slipped the trinket on her finger.

“It won’t work at Hogwarts, but it will work here. See? I have one just like it.”

“What does it do?” Came her little voice.

“You may be here sometimes by yourself, or off in the village stirring up mischief. If you get in trouble and need my help, just twist this top part here. My ring will glow and show me where you are. That way I can come help you beat up whatever giant slobbery jerk you’ve pissed off this time.”

She laughed, and he ruffled her hair.

…

The last time she used it was Christmas of her 7th year, just months before the accident, and before he attacked and burned Hogwarts castle. He had never been more estranged from his parents and Han and Leia in turn could hardly stand to see each other. Rey was lonely and worried for her friend.

She had walked out to the lake front, to their favorite spot and twisted the ring.

He was there within minutes. Dark and tall and humorless.

“What’s been up with you?” she demanded.

He had said nothing, just walking up and putting a hand on head. She brushed it off like she always did.

“I didn’t think you’d come.”

“I’ll always come for you. You know that,” he said deeply.

Ben chucked her chin and she smiled reluctantly. They sat in comfortable silence watching the sunset.

“Happy Christmas Ben. Maybe next year, we’ll celebrate it in our own place. No Naboo, no politics, just us,” She looked up hopefully at him.

He smiled sadly and put his arm around her, pulling her into his side in a tight embrace.

“I’d like that,” He’d said.

She felt the heavy weight on him. Heard the doubt in his voice. She knew everyone’s anxiety about his work with this mysterious group. She worried. But she couldn’t bring herself to confront him, too scared to lose it all and break their happy illusion. Everything would be alright she had told herself.

Maybe, if she had said something then, things would have been different, maybe….

 _No,_ she can’t think like that. And it is long past wondering whether things could have changed.

Now, the only question was after all this time, whether he would answer her call. Did he even still carry the ring?

After all this time, after all this hurt, could she face him again?

It didn’t matter. She couldn’t escape the country on her own, especially with the increasing First Order attacks. The country was too dangerous right now, the entire ministry was seeking her out and if she didn’t do something, her and her child would be used as bait and leverage in a war.

No. He had a responsibility to help her protect Grey too. Of course, she has no idea how he’ll react to having a child he knows nothing about.  But it’s either that or turn herself over to the ministry, who she’s certain will soon be knocking on their doorstep any minute.

At least with Ben, she won’t be a pawn… will she? He wouldn’t do that to her, would he? Hadn’t he sworn to protect her? Hadn’t he always, in one way or another, tried to keep her safe? As twisted as his methods were, didn’t he still… care?  

She’ll never forgive him for that day, but he had made that bizarre promise, hadn’t he?

“I’ll come back for you sweetheart, I promise.”

She remembered it. Though he had never come back. Now she needed him, and she would hold him to that vow.

Rey takes a bracing breath and twists the ring top.

\--- 

The pieces were finally in place for his plan.

 After years of scheming, controlling the right people and planting the proper traps, now it was just a matter of finding the perfect moment to strike.

But something doesn’t feel right. An anxious feeling fills his chest that he can’t pinpoint. It’s something he hasn’t felt in a very long time. He pushes it from his mind.

 Kylo Ren stands among his knights in a dark enchanted forest. They are plotting their latest assault commanded by Snoke when his hand begins to vibrate. At first, he doesn’t recognize the sound, it’s been so long after all. He had almost forgotten that he wore it.

But then he looks down and sees the green glow flashing on his fingers and his world comes to a crashing halt. _It can’t be._

It takes a moment to break out of his wide-eyed shock (thank Merlin for his mask) before he recovers and tucks his hand into his robes. The other knights look at him expectantly for an explanation.

“A matter requires my attention. Rufus, take the lead here.”

The men bow their heads, and as Ren vanishes, they share wary looks.

\----

Ben stands before the manor as storm clouds begin rolling in over the lake.

It’s been more than a decade since he’d stood here. And half a dozen years since he’d last seen… _her._

Could he face her now? After their moment together, he knew his leaving would likely destroy her. At least he hoped she would stop searching for him. He was simultaneously relieved and disappointed when he heard from his spies that she was leaving the ministry. Finally, she might be safe. He had succeeded at pushing away the last person who cared for him. He had gotten her to break her promise too.

But now… was this a trap? Was she truly in danger? What was the meaning of this, after so long?

He casts protective spells around the manor, and other spells that would alert him of any approaching dangers, still more that would prevent anyone from apparating too closely. Rey looks out the window at the flickering sky she recognizes as spellwork.

She sees a dark figure on the shore.

He looks up at the silhouette in the window.

It’s her.

He marches towards the marble doors.

\----

She hears to thumps of his heavy foot steps coming up the carpeted hall as her heart hammers in her throat. This was a mistake. What was she thinking? She pulls a curtain around her sleeping son and stands in front of him.

There’s no going back now

The door opens and… he’s there.

Helmet already removed.

They stand facing each other, taking each other in.

He looks stronger, less conflicted than the last time she saw him. No dark circles under his eyes, his black garb straining over even larger muscles. His scar has healed to a thin line. He’s clean shaven and his midnight locks are tame.

He takes her in too. She’s a little rounder in the right places. She wears a white blouse and jeans as she stands nervously in front of her bed. His eyes narrow.

Her mouth is dry, she doesn’t know what to say. Her hurt and turmoil come pouring back, the sense of betrayal from that day, the memory of his skin on hers. It’s as if no time has passed at all.

His memories are raw as well. Why call him now? His annoyance is stoked when she just stands there.

“Speak.”

Still she hesitates.

He sighs and turns to leave. Rey panics.

“Why did you leave?” she hears herself say.

He gives her a sharp look over his shoulder.

“Is this why you brought me here?”

“You came. You still came.”

“If you’re well, I’m leaving.”

“We’re in danger!”

He stops and turns.

She might faint. How can she tell him?

“The ministry is hunting me. I need to leave the country.”

He gives her a confused frown.

“Why?”

“I… we…”

Rey’s saved an explanation when a small voice perks up behind her.

“Mommy? Mommy who’s that man?”

Ben tenses, not expecting someone else in the room. Did he hear it right? _Mommy? MOMMY!?_

She turns and scoops Grey into her arms, looking warily back at Ben.

The child is young, no older than five, with jet black hair and…!

He walks up suddenly and she walks back, knees hitting the bed. He raises a gloved hand to the child’s hair. Grey buries his face in his mother’s chest as Ben brushes his hair behind… a large protruding ear. _His_ ears.

Ben staggers back like he’s been burned.

Shock rocks him head to foot.

She…and he… had he… was this…?

“He’s ours.”

Ben’s eyes are wide and wild.

“This is Grey,” Rey says, finally finding her voice. “He’s five. He’s smart and loved and perfect. I’ve kept him safe but now the ministry knows. The ministry knows who his father is and they’re chasing us. They want to use us as leverage against you. Ben, you can’t let them take us. You’re son…”

“My son? _MY_ son? Don’t you mean _your_ son?”

Hurt pierces her chest like an arrow.

“You kept him from me,” comes a dangerous hiss.

“You abandoned me to lead a war, on the wrong side...”

“YOU KEPT HIM FROM ME!” Ben roars, and then he’s flying out of the room.

He flings open the door and there are crashing sounds in the hall way as he smashes paintings and vases and other furniture.

Grey sniffles in her arms and she comfort him the best she can. Anger begins to rise within her.

Minutes later Ben returns to the room, panting.

Rey has no sympathy for him. Her voice is like steel now.

“You ABANDONED me. You pushed me away. This is what you wanted. This is what you did. You almost destroyed me! I almost…” she stops short of saying she almost took her own life. She doesn’t want to confuse and scare Grey more than he already is.

Ben stills. He understands what she was about to say.

“Grey saved my life. You gave him to me. I’ll always be grateful. But you did me wrong. You did us wrong. Now make it right. Don’t let them take us away.”

He huffs and paces the floor.

“And what would you have me do? In case you didn’t notice the First Order doesn’t exactly have a daycare.”

“Get us out of the country. Europe is fine, the America’s even better.”

Ben feels like he’s being ripped apart. His mind can hardly keep up with the swarm of emotions. But the precious time he needs to think will not be granted.

Alarm bells of his enchantments begin to sound.

The ministry is here.


	4. maz

Ben’s eye twitches with fury and guilt as Rey eludes to her-self harm.

Why couldn’t she just fucking forget him, let him go!? But then again… He sighs and puts his face in his palm. He thinks he understands the feeling.

He had been planning to die as well, after he executed his new plan. The plan inspired by their last encounter. She has no idea how greatly she changed his heart, and it’s best it stay that way. He had planned to meet her in the next life. He’ll never be good enough for her, but maybe this way, he could at least leave a better world for her to live.

He had no idea how deeply being without him would ruin her world anyways.

And now all of this? A child?  _HIS CHILD!?_

He is thunderstruck, overwhelmed with shock and rage, betrayal, guilt and confusion. And something utterly unidentifiable courses through him when he looks at his ears on that small boy.

Not only that.

How would he execute his plan AND keep her AND a child safe?

He had planned to die, but now… looking at Grey, could there be a reason to live?

There’s too much to process and no time. His alarm bells go off as outside forces try to breach his protective enchantments.

A primal protective urge takes hold when he sees the fear on the child’s face. A face so much like his own. 

Kylo marches to the window with his long strides and looks out below. Another shock greets him.

“You’re in worse trouble that you think you are,” he says, eyebrows raised.

Rey joins him at the window, Grey in her arms. “What do you mean?”

“Those men are under the First Order’s control.”

“What?”

She looks out and recognizes the faces of former colleagues from the Auror office.

“But those are Ministry men.”

Kylo looks at her with his penetrative gaze, waiting for her to connect the dots. Her eyes widen and she pauses in her comforting bouncing of Grey.

“The Imperius curse?” she whispers accusatorily.

Her gives a single nod, eyes never leaving hers.

“But that means…”

“Snoke is after you too,” he finishes for her. A shadow descends upon his features.

He walks away, pacing, running hands through his hair as Rey just watches. Fear courses through her and she holds Grey more tightly.

Kylo’s mind is racing. Did this mean Snoke was aware that he has a child and never told him? And he was trying to get to her now? Why? To use as leverage against him? Had Snoke discovered his plan? No, it couldn’t be. Not after his years of hard work!

He takes his helmet and smashes it against a glass mirror. Grey cries in earnest now.

“Did you know about this?” Rey manages.

“Does it look like I knew about this?” He answers sharply.

Kylo can’t take any chances. They’ll have to hide from the ministry AND the First Order, at least until he can figure out what’s going on. There is a grant total of one person on earth he can trust at this moment.

Ben digs through his robes and fishes out a tiny black bag. He undoes a draw string and heads for the large fireplace.

“Floo? But won’t they catch us right away? The ministry must be monitoring…”

“When Leia was Minister of Magic, she made sure to remove this home from their network of monitoring. She’s cunning that way. Always knew there were moles the in ministry. She figured I could lead an attack into her home this way…”

“She was right, wasn’t she?”

He gives her a hard look and she returns it. Her eyes are empty of the unconditional empathy she once had for him.

“Otherwise how would you know it works?”

“They’ll be working to reconnect them to the floo now that they’ve likely discovered the issue,” he says ignoring her question.

Rey looks torn and scared, looking back and forth between the fireplace and the window. She can hear the protective sphere crackling and vanishing outside, the shouts of men and women and the shattering of the front door down stairs.

Kylo has no patience. “It’s this or we fight our way out. It will not end well, and we leave the child an orphan.”

Rey nods, steps forward and throws the floo powder into the giant stone fire place.

He instructs her to shout ‘Maz’s Castle’ and she does.

…

Mother and son roll, sooty, into an expansive old stone kitchen. It looks like it was once a grand castle, with a tremendous staff, but now the expansive room is empty, dark and covered in dust.

Grey catches her attention, putting his little hands on his mother’s cheeks.

“Mommy, where are we now?”

“We’re going to get some help love.”

“Is that man really my daddy?” Comes his quivering, innocent little voice. Her whole being lurches, knowing she can’t protect him from this any longer.

“Yes Grey,” she says, trying to be strong and honest.

“I don’t want him to be,” the boy cries and Rey swallows him in a tight embrace, her heart breaking for him. She didn’t want him to find out like this, if ever. Her most precious love, how scared he must be.

“Hey, I know, I know. I’m sorry love. I’m so sorry things happened like this, but we’re going to be ok. Alright? Believe it or not, he’s going to keep us safe. I know it. It’s going to be alright. But I need you to be brave right now, ok?”

Grey nods a teary nod and wipes his boogery face with a blue sleeve.

There’s a flash of light behind them. Kylo Ren’s ducks and rolls into the kitchen, standing elegantly despite the size of his body. He strides into the aging castle and Rey and Grey follow. Everything is dark and seemingly abandoned.

“Maz!” he calls.

“MAZ! I know you’re here you damn relic!”

“Ben Solo,” a woman’s loud voice echoes across a wide dusty dining room. The furniture is all covered in moldy white sheets.  

 

Rey almost thinks the voice disembodied, but then looks down to see the tiniest old woman she’s ever seen walk around a claw legged table. She’s in plain, faded purple robes, hunched with glasses that make her look like she has owl eyes. Her voice is anything but frail, however, booming and reproachful.

“This is an unpleasant surprise.”

Kylo stands before her and the difference in their heights almost comical. They stare each other down for a moment before her eyes notice Grey peaking his head around his mother’s leg.

“But, I see you’re not alone. Step forward child, let me have a look at you. I won’t bite.”

Rey walks up, Grey clinging closely to his mother.

“Oh, my I think I know this one,” She says looking up at Rey.

“Rey is it? Of course, Han told me a great deal about you.”

“Did he?” she says nervously.

“The daughter he never had. Now apparently, his daughter-in-law?”

Neither says anything to that.

“And the boy?”

“My son,” Kylo answers in his low voice and it stills Rey’s heart to hear it. She’s just shocked that he’s accepted it so readily. That he’s claiming him. She doesn’t know how that makes her feel.

Maz’s wispy eyebrow disappear into her barely there hair.

“Yes, I just found out myself,” he says almost bored. “And who do you suppose is after us?”

“Everyone. I think everyone is after you,” Maz answers gravely.

“Yes.”

“Well, like father like son. Bringing a world of problems to my doorstep,” she says walking away. The trio follows.  Ben flinches at the repeated mention of his father but Maz ignores him.

 

“Come now, there’s no time to worry about the past. My little birds have been singing me songs of plots and upheaval and now I see what the stirrings must be tied to. You’ll need to get far away and fast.”

“Just Rey and the boy. I must stay.”

“That so?” Maz says, humor in her voice as she looks over her shoulder.

“They’ll need  _you_  to get where they’re going. After that, it’s your choice, as it’s always been, young Solo.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Maz halts suddenly and Kylo nearly trips over her.

“I see it in your eyes. You want to run away from who you are. You can burn the past, but you can never outrun your own heart.”

“I don’t your philosophy lessons.”

“Don’t you?”

He audibly growls and Maz turns her attention back to Rey and Grey.

“My dears, please rest. Let me show you to a room where you can change and wash and sleep. I’ll have food sent up shortly. Rest now while you can. I’ll arrange things. It won’t be too long before they’re knocking on my door as well.”

Rey stammers her gratitude while Ben continues glaring behind Maz. “Thank you, I don’t know how to repay you…”

“Don’t trouble yourself with that… this way.”

They ascend a magnificent dusty staircase that splits in two direction towards the top. They veer left and approach a floor to ceiling bookcase. Maz mutters a short incantation and the bookcase slides aside, revealing another staircase. It opens to a large room, with two large four poster beds, and a door leading off to bathing chambers on the other side.

“You’ll stay here together for now.”

“I...” Ben starts but Maz is having none of it.

“No Arguments! This is the safest room in the castle and you will not abandon them for a moment. Do I make myself clear?”

Ben glares murder in her direction but doesn’t say a word. Rey holds in the impulse to laugh at the ridiculous scene before her. The mighty Kylo Ren being scolded by the tiniest woman alive and allowing it.

Their host slips away and door shuts with a rattling thud that disturbs the cobwebs all around. The three of them are left standing in tense, awkward silence.

“I wish I had met her before all this,” Rey says with half a forced laugh.

“I wish I hadn’t,” he says dimly.

That rubs Rey the wrong way. He never did appreciate the people who loved and cared for him, who put their necks on the line for him.

She lifts Grey into her arms and walks to the opposite end of the room.

“Bath, then bed buddy. We have a long journey ahead of us.”

Ben just stares after them, his heart in turmoil. He deflates as the bath chamber door closes, slinking against the door and sliding onto the ground. He puts his head on his knees and grabs his hair.

What was he going to do?

…

They spend the rest of the evening in silence. House elves appear with a delicious meal and Rey realizes just how famished she is. Kylo never leaves his spot on the floor in front of the door.

Later, as Rey tucks a sleepy Grey in, she regards him nervously.

“Are you going to stay down there all night?”

He says nothing. He won’t admit it, but he wants to be aware of anyone entering or exiting the room.

“You need sleep too,” she whispers, not meeting his eye. She slips into the big bed next to her son and closes the four-poster curtains.

…

At some point Kylo does drift to sleep.

He’s startled awake by the sound of something rolling across the floor.

Kylo jumps, immediately aware looking around the room. What he sees is a round trinket rolling away, and he hears the patter of tiny feet running back to the four poster and climbing in.

The child was playing.

Kylo breathes fast, trying to bring his hammering heart back under control. He’s thankful he didn’t hurl any curses in his surprise.

He’s hyper vigilant now.

After a few minutes of quiet, those little feet slip out of the sheets again.

Kylo watches curiously, eyes half closed feigning sleep, his arms crossed over his chest, his head leaning against the door.

Grey makes a grab for the little spindle of a toy, but just as his little hands get near to grab it, it juts away!

He grabs at it again, and again it rolls away pulled by some unseen force. A little smile cracks his chubby cheeks. Grey follows the spindle that’s now racing around the room away from him, letting out a little giggle as it turned sharply this way, and that, keeping out of his grasp.

The sound causes Rey to stir. She hears Grey’s quiet giggles and opens a bleary eye to see him scampering around through the breaks in the curtain.

The boy darts around trying to grab something. He runs around a rocking chair, back past bureau and under the opposite bed. He rolls and giggles. She’s just about to jump up and see what’s going on when her eyes catch another movement.

She sees a sliver Ben leaning up against the door. His wrist is tucked under his arm flicking with the tiniest of movements, his wand in his hand, half an eye open.

_My stars, he’s playing with him._

She can’t describe the emotions running through her, seeing father and son interact for the first time, even if Grey doesn’t realize it. The man she loved all her life, who became a monster and her greatest pain, was playing with the son he left her pregnant and abandoned with. He was making Grey happy during one of the scariest most traumatic moments of his life.

She can’t process it. So, she just watches, silent tears falling from her eyes, wishing for what could have been and trying to shut out the rest of the world. She falls back asleep.

Grey tires of the game, but at the end notices that twitching of that big man’s wrist. Sensing he’s been caught, Ben closes his eyes and stops moving the wand. He hears tiny feet come closer. He cracks open an eye to see Grey’s tiny face inches from his own, staring intensely at him. Ben startles a little but just looks back.

“Are you really my daddy?” come’s Grey’s sweet voice.

All Ben can do is offer a small nod.

“Oh,” he nods a little, “well, you’re really scary.”

Ben can’t help a huff of a chuckle that escapes him, not expecting the blunt honesty.

Grey looks encouraged by the sound. Then he squirms a bit, looking down as he asks his next question.

“Are you going to stay with us?

A shot to the heart. Ben hasn’t had time to process any of this, but he won’t get this kid’s hopes up. Ben shakes his head.

Grey makes a thoughtful face for a few moments. He’s never really thought about having a daddy, and he’s super happy with his mommy. This big guy looks super scary and was really mad earlier, but if he can play games then he must be nice after all.

“Well, if you really want to, you can stay with us. I’ll tell Mom it’s ok.”

He can’t help himself. He’s hit with a swell of emotion and finds himself laying a large hand on Grey’s tiny head, patting his silky black hair.

“Thanks,” he tells him and Grey smiles, running back to bed with his Mommy who’s snoring and drooling now.

Ben turns his chin up, covering his eye with his arm as the tears fall freely. What is he going to do?

\----

Another memory seeps into her dreams.

It was her fifth year. Ben comes to visit her on their Hogsmeed weekend. He’s been in the papers, the dangerous, unbalanced son of the Prime Minister. He was recently caught selling black market ingredients for dark potions, was awaiting trial for sucker punching the son of one of the Wizengamot’s judges, and according to the tabloids, currently dating a fugitive she-werewolf.

He’s tall, imposing and brooding at her side as her classmates give them wide berth. She’s used to it by now, and Ben and Rey enjoy playing into it, scaring the crap out of anyone who dares laugh or say something stupid.

Rey has no sympathy for the simpletons who believe everything the read in the Daily Prophet and tabloid rags.

It didn’t mean some of it wasn’t true though.

“They restrict knowledge. It’s not right. I’m fighting for justice,” comes Ben’s loud voice as he slams a drink down on the table inside Madam Puddifoot’s Tea shop. They love sitting in here and making the sickening sweet couples uncomfortable, until the owner chases them off.

“OR, how about you cut the crap and get your ingredients the legal way.”

“You know I have no patience for that. I’d have to wait months,” he says with a whine, that’s more like a grunting growl. The weird sounds he makes, honestly.

She just huffs. What is she going to do with him?

“Speaking of…” he whispers lowly.

Rey gives him a questioning look.

Ben sticks out his tongue, revealing a mandrake leaf on his tongue.

“Oh, Ben not again.”

“No, it’s definitely going to work this time.”

“This is your fifth attempt.”

“Fifth times a charm, everyone says that.”

“No one says that.”

“Maybe I’ll become a toad so you can keep me under your bed,” He says wiggling his eyebrows playfully. She pushes his face away with mock disgust and a laugh.

“And I take it you still have no plans to register as an animagus if it does work?”

Damn him, he just smiles. A wide, mischievous, dangerous smile that even at 15 makes her heart race and launches an army of butterflies in her belly.

“You’re so stupid,” she lays her head on the table trying to hide her blush as he laughs that rare guffaw of his. He pokes her, then shakes her. She won’t look at him.

He shakes her harder but when she looks up…

She in an unfamiliar dark room. Ben is Kylo Ren and he’s looming over her shaking her awake. She startles and shuffles back under the covers.

“It’s Maz. We need to talk to her. Leave the child here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE COMMENTS YES I DO, I LOVE COMMENTS HOW ABOUT YOU! LOL <3
> 
> This was only meant to be three chapters but it's taken on a life of it's own lol. Having lots of fun seeing where it takes us ;)


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